It's really quiet this morning. I was really happy to be able to sleep in, but I only woke up at 8:00. I can hear little birds outside, I wonder what birds talk about. Probably worms. Maybe flying and wind patterns. Today is my last final, but I'm completely unprepared. I know when I get to school and walk on campus, it will feel completely wrong. My mind left the building last Wednesday. I haven't talked to Cherie in a long time, it kind makes me sad, but she always has her sister and family and religion. That's all okay I guess. I started rereading Catcher in the Rye on Saturday at work. Time didn't move an inch, but his narration sort of made me angry. In the way that I constantly wanted to put the book down. Franny and Zooey will always be my favorite. Animal Collective is in a couple days over a month, and that's kind of other wordly. I still remember buying the ticket and before then. I said I would start taking pictures, and I did, but that motivation left me with four more shots on the roll. I guess because I started this hobby exclusively with polaroids, I try to be careful with every shot. Maybe today I'll finish that. This post has no direction, but that's exactly how I want it to be. I have a lot of college crap to sign up for and take care of, but really, that can be done after my week long break. Did I tell you I have a week long break? Well after Monday, I do. I want to go to the beach a lot, I thought about the keys with Eric, but I know that would never work out. He really pisses me off in that way.

I realized the other day that what I primarily dislike about other people and socializing in general is explaining myself. Of course I can't blame them if they don't know me, or perhaps my expectations are too high, but at the core, I hate it. All of my friends are like varying degrees of, I don't have to explain myself to you a lot. I kind of have to explain myself to you. I really dont have to explain myself to you. I dont have to explain myself at all to you.
Well all of that is fine, but I think that is what I would be happy with, sociologically in my life. A solid group of friends; we all understand eachother and rarely have to explain our actions or thoughts or basically anything about each one of us to each other. Also, a dude that I don't have to explain myself at all to. I think if that half is true, then it's reciprocated, which means we don't have to change ourselves for eachother. Probably a little bit, but not substantially. We can just be ourselves and be happy that we are because that's what we love. This is all ideal of course. Everyone knows about my fear of becoming a crazy cat lady and being ultimately alone for the rest of my life.

I have the first half down. Especially lately. Definitely have that down.